Matchdotbomb's Blog

Today was the last day of the Printers Row Lit Fest in Chicago. The weather was . . . well, it’s Chicago, so it was unpredictable: cold and overcast.  But  the Fest was anything but. Behind every book was a story, and behind every story was an author.  And the visitors browsing brought their own stories with them.  One of the main reasons I participate in this annual Fest is the people I get to meet who take the time to stop by my booth and chat.

To the many readers who keep this Fest going by coming back year after year, thank you. And to  my fellow writers, keep at it.  So many people . . . so many stories.  It’s what connects all of us.

Okay, so maybe you aren’t swimsuit-ready. Maybe those last five pounds you wanted to shed are still hanging on for dear life. But the summer won’t wait for your ideal weight. So, get out there.

Outdoor concerts . . . dining al fresco . . . biking along the lake (wear a helmut) . . . roller blading (add knee and wrist pads) . . . whatever you choose to do, do it with gusto, with abandon of your everyday demands.  We all hope to have an infinte number of summers left, but none of us knows.  So, get out there!

I just got back from a trip to Florida for a wedding and the Virgin Islands for a holiday.  I traveled light.  Not intentionally, mind you.  The airlines lost my luggage. For the first five days, they dubbed it “delayed baggage.”  After a week, it became clear that my suitcase had disappeared.  So many special things were in my checked-in bag. My best party clothes; strappy sandals; casual island outfits; bathing suits (two, of course . . . so one could dry out while I wore the other); three different SPF levels of  suntan lotion. I was prepared.

I had an unusual, initial reaction to my vanishing luggage.  Although I could hear my late mother’s voice saying, “Be grateful the plane didn’t crash,” still . . . standing at the lost-luggage counter, I cried.  The next day, I bought the bare (pun intended) necessities for the rest of the trip, kicked into vacation mode and had a good time.  But when I got on the flight to return home, feeling pretty empty with no bags to schlep, I looked out the window and cried softly to myself  once again.

What was that all about?  Well, it certainly wasn’t about my things . . . my “stuff.”  Sure, I’ll have to replace them, and I’m already discovering how  costly and time-consuming that’s becoming.  But it was what that disappearing bag represented.  Loss.  Something I knew about all too well.  I loved my favorite things, and now they were gone forever, just like so many others I’d cherished in my life and then lost.  But if I close my eyes, I can almost see that little black cocktail dress and red silk wrap. Along with all those other beautiful memories . . . the truly important ones.

Okay, so you went out on that first date and maybe he/she didn’t instantly make your heart go pitter-pat. And now you’re thinking that you should just cut your losses and move on.  Whoa! Maybe just making your heart go “pit” (think Brad) might be enough to get things started. Sure, chemistry’s important, but how many times have you heard couples say that they started out as friends first?  In a relationship, look for someone you would like to talk with for the rest of your life, too.  Remember, friends can grow into wonderful soul-mates, so don’t give up too early.

When you’re scrolling and trolling on one of the many online dating sites, give what you’d like to get in return. What do I mean? Simply this: Look closely at a candidate’s profile. If it’s filled with double entendre remarks, then that should be fair warning of what may be in store for you on your date. As Seinfeld would say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” if that’s what you’re looking for. For example, if the guy posts a photo of himself in his Speedo, be forewarned. It’s true . . . you can’t always judge a book by its cover, but if that’s the “cover” he wants millions of fellow Internetters to view, that’s a statement. Likewise, posting an online photo of yourself in your string bikini may send the wrong message . . . or maybe not. You get to decide.

Whether you’re divorced, widowed, or one-half of a break-up, leave the previous passengers who traveled with you on your journey behind. I had a date with a guy who broke down in tears as he was telling me how his wife had just left him for another man. My heart went out to the guy, but I knew that he was no more ready for his next relationship than if he had just come from his wife’s funeral.

Also, it may be natural to make comparisons to your previous traveling partners, but you need to start with a clean slate. Guys, if you love blonds and your current date is a brunette, don’t keep fantasizing what she’d look like if she dyed her hair. And ladies, speaking of locks, if your last relationship had a full head of hair and your new date is bald, so what? Can you say “Bruce Willis” or Sean Connery”? Not bad, huh?!

Okay, for those of you who watched the Academy Awards (and who didn’t?) there were relationships everywhere. Brad and Angie, Kate and Sam, Meryl and her daughter, Danny Boyle and an entire stage full,  Sean and Robin,  and Mickey and . . . well, who knows?  Some were journeying through the Oscars with one companion this go-around and, if  they’re very lucky, it may stick. But they may have an entirely different traveling companion next time.

Some of us may be with others next year , too. . . or we may even be traveling–oh, no–solo. Remember, your fellow traveler is the icing on the cake . . . but the journey is the cake itself. And it’s your life’s journey . . . nobody else’s. So, this is one time to jump into the cake instead of jumping out of it.  Now, get going!